1. Bus Accident

Man Crying: Mera hath kat gaya.
Bahut dard ho raha hai.

Santa: Abey chup baith.
Wo dekh uska gala kat gaya,

Fir bhi chup-chaap pada hai..!!

2. Define Girls!!

The 1 who
b4 goin out for a party,
facial,
bleach,
waxing,
hair cuting/straighting,
threading,
toning,
scrubing,
moisturhng,
done
&
put on
lipstick,
lipgloss,
lipliner,
perfume,
body toner,
body lotion,
eye liner,
eye shadow,
eye maskara,
foundation,
face powder,
rings,
bracelet,
neckless,
nail paint,
party dress,
Sandle,
Purse and
says: yaar jalde ki bajah se kuch kar nahe payi
Define boy!!
The one who b4 goin to party calls his frnd & ask :
“bhai, tu naha k aayega kya?”
Frnd reply: chal be tere bap ki baraat hai kya..
Boys alwayz rocks… 

3. A teacher is talking to a student.
Teacher: Did your father help your with your homework? 
Student: No, he did it all by himself.

4. On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed. 
"What's the matter? Are you sick?" 
"No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see an old lady standing." 

5.A man was complaining to a railroad engineer. 

What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late. 

The railroad engineer replied. 

How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule? 

6.A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."

The friend says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"

The first guy says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them."

7.A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk.

The head monk said, "You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every three years."
The man agreed and after the first 3 years, the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?"
"Food cold!" the man replied.
Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?"
"Robe dirty!" the man exclaimed.
Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?"
"I quit!" said the man.
"Well," the head monk replied, "I am not surprised. You have done nothing but complain ever since you got here!"

SARDAR JOKES

Sardar Ki ABC

1. Banta class mein - Madam maine "abc" yaad karli..
Madam -ok, to sunao..
Banta - a b c d e f g h i j k l e m n o p q r s t u v w x y z.
Madam - Arre aise nahi �.aise suna A for apple
Banta - OK madam�.

A for apple.
B for bada apple.
C for chhota apple.
D for dusra apple.
E for ek aur apple.
F for fokat ka apple.
G for gol apple.
H for hazar apple
I for itney saare apple?
J for jaao nahi khaani hai apple
K for kaise nahi khaayenge apple
L for lena padhega tumko apple
M for mujhe nahi chahiye itne apple
N for naa nahi kehte kyun ki yeh hai apple
O for Oh to tumne khaa daale yeh saare apple
P for peth bhar khaao apple
Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple
R for roz agar khaao tum apple
S for sehetmand rahoge khaaoge agar tum apple
T for tumko nahi milenge itne achche apple
U for udhaar ki nahi hai yeh apple
V for very tasty hai yeh apple
W for waste na karo time aur khaa lo jaldi se apple
X for X'mas mei bhii Hi! khana padenge apple
Y for yun na chehra phero dekh ke apple
Z for zaraa sa aur khaalo apple

NOTE:SARDAR JOKES WERE CREATED BY SIKHS ITSELF FOR A TIMEPASS.

2. Sardarji, tell me ...., what is the meaning of SMS ?

Sardar angrily said, i know -

it means....

S - Sardaron ke

M - Mazak udane ki

S - Service

3. Sardar returns book to library, bangs it on table & says - What a

shit ?
"I
read the whole book, too many character, no story at all" ?.

Librarian : So, you are the one who took the Telephone Directory....

4.Two Sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks

the other

to check whether it is working.

He puts his head out and says - YES..NO..YES..NO..YES..NO

5.On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.

Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.

6.Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.


7.Lecturer : Write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi.

Sardar : Gandhi was a great man but maa kasam, I dont know who is Jayanthi.

8.Sardar : You cheated me.

Shopkeeper: How ?

Sardar : You said this is American made radio. But when I put it ON, it says All IndiaRadio.

WELCOME TO INDIA

1.A Japani came to INDIA...!
He took an auto to go to the airport, on the way a Honda overtakes ...
Japani: HONDA made in JAPAN..... very fast... next a toyota overtakes
Japani: TOYOTA made in JAPAN.....very fast ....
Reached Airport & asked How Much?
Driver: RS. 8000 ....
Japani: Why so expensive??
Driver: METER made in INDIA ........''VERY FAST.....''

2.A Foreigner VISITED INDIA AND WENT BACK TO Native country
WHERE HE MET HIS INDIAN FRIEND WHO ASKED HIM .
HOW DID U FIND MY COUNTRY 
THE Foreigner SAID IT IS A GREAT COUNTRY 
WITH SOLID ANCIENT HISTORY 
AND IMMENSELY RICH WITH NATURAL RESOURCES. 
THE INDIAN FRIEND THEN ASKED …. 
HOW DID U FIND INDIANS …….?? 
INDIANS?? 
WHO INDIANS?? 
I DIDN'T FIND OR MET A SINGLE INDIAN 
THERE IN INDIA……. 
WHAT NONSENSE?? 
WHO ELSE COULD U MET IN INDIA THEN……?? 
THE AMERICAN SAID …….. 
IN KASHMIR I MET A KASHMIRI– 
IN PUNJAB A PUNJABI—– 
IN BIHAR,MAHARASTRA, RAJASTHAN, BENGAL, TAMILNADU, KERALA 
BIHARI, MARATHI, MARWADI, BENGALI, TAMILIAN, MALAYALI……… 
THEN I MET 
A MUSLIM, 
A HINDU, 
A CHRISTIAN, 
A JAIN, 
A BUDDHIST 
AND MANY MANY MANY MORE 
BUT NOT A SINGLE INDIAN DID I MEET 
…………………………………………………………... 
THINK HOW SERIOUS THIS JOKE IS…………….. 
THE DAY WOULD NOT BE FAR OFF WHEN INDEED WE WOULD 
BECOME A COLLECTION OF NATION STATES AS SOME 
REGIONAL ANTI-NATIONAL POLITICIANS WANT ... 
FIGHT BACK 

ALWAYS SAY I AM INDIAN

3.A foreigner had very spicy Indian dinner

next morning he came out of toilet and said, now i understand why Indians use water.
Tissues can catch fire.

4.Once a foriegner who came to india was very interested in the food when he saw the jaleebi he asked the shopkeeper what is this the shopkeeper answered round round like rope it is a sweet then the foreigner asked what is dahi the shopkeeper replied milk sleeping in the night getting up in the morning and becoming tight.

5.A Foreigner Comes To India. He Likes It And Decides To Spend The Rest Of His Life In India. 

One Day He Thougth That He Should Learn Hindi, So He Went To A Hindi Teacher 
Teacher: Repeat After Me 
Foreigner: Ok 
Teacher: Maine Kiya 
Foreigner: Maaaaaaaaaaame Kiyo 
Teacher: Manoranjan Ke Liye 
Foreigner: Maaanoraanjan Kee Liyee 
Teacher: Jaldi Chalo 
Foreigner: Jaaldi Chaaloo 
Then The Foreigner Comes Back To His House In The Way And There Was A Murder Of A Person And The Police Arrived. 
Police: Kisne Kiya 
Foreigner: Mane Kiya, Mane Kiya!! 
Police: Kyuonn Kiya? 
Foreigner: Manoranjan Ke Liye 
Police: Police Station Chalo 
Foreigner: Jaldi Chalo

Girlfriend Hogi Teri

Sardar apni sister ke saath bike pe ja raha tha.

Boy : Oh! Paaji girlfriend k saath kaha ja rahe ho.
Sardar : Oye! Girlfriend hogi teri meri to sister hai.